worn but still beautiful
Best wedding ring testimonial, ever.
05 / 16 / 2011
a word from our galactic overlord
Being a galactic overlord isn't the easiest of jobs. There's rebellions to quell, planets to subjugate and hell, even stars to make go super-nova. The worst thing is - you've got to be "on" all the time. Can't afford any slip-ups with the cutthroats and brigands I call my crew. That also includes looking my best all the time.
My beard was getting a little long and unruly so when my fleet entered the Sol system, I decided to give you a break. If I could find someone who could make my goatee look presentable, I'd permit your little blue-and-green planet a chance to join the Empire on their own.
I tracked down this Terran named "Russ Sharek" and I was mightily impressed by the fact that he didn't faint dead away when I teleported into his studio. I told him what I wanted and the stakes that were involved.
He got to work right away - and I *am* a happy conqueror. Beautiful, simple, elegant and quickly and skillfully done.
You've got Russ Sharek here to thank for your continued existence. And you'd better be nice to him ... OR ELSE.
Commander and Overlord
Galactic Third Fleet
My friend Kevin's passion for costuming and comedy really paid off, as he pulled together the work of several artisans to create his Praxis character. As a thank you for my efforts towards the goal, he staged this photo and wrote me an in-character threat...er, testimonial.
I do love a good sight gag.
For the full story, check out Kevin's costuming blog.
08 / 02 / 2010
doing our part to keep austin weird
Maybe it's your karma.
The eating of this knish should undertaken with great reverence. This is a deli, which is essentially Jewish holy ground.
She wants my hot gravy...recipe.
But, I'm too awesome for a jury of my peers.
When I am king, William Shatner will be forced cover the best of Queen.
"Buddy, you're...a boy. Make a big noise. Playing? in the street? You're going to be a big man. Someday."
I have been bested. That man is now my eyebrow mentor.
Droid is my sherpa.
I have a new goal this evening: to be as hammered as my ego.
Artist. Carny. Adventurer. And now, bicycle valet. I may have suffered a little focus creep here.
The officer's last name is Schatte. I call dibs on writing his biography.
The title? "I, Schatte...The Sheriff."
Random quotes from Austin, Texas
05 / 05 / 2010
austrian snail mail
Back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth (and used email for correspondence), I had a fairly regular exchange going with artist James Seehafer.
James was always pretty active in the arts community, and went on to do some pretty awesome things. Amongst them, he coined the term Massurrealism, and through his own work became the ad hoc father of the movement.
I lost track of my pen pal after a few years, and had always assumed he had gone on to things far more important than little old me.
As it turns out, James has been reading along the entire time. He got back in touch with me after my recent ramblings about social media.
He's since moved to Austria, from where I recently received a surprise package. Inside, I found two sheets of mint-condition Massurrealism postage stamps. A nifty souvenir from an old friend.
Learn more about James, and the Massurrealism movement, at www.massurrealism.org
03 / 30 / 2010
stumbling upon old friends
Last weekend, while joyfully stumbling about the North Texas Irish Festival, I bumped into my friends Joshua and Celina Mauk. I hadn't seen them in ages, so it was good to get a chance to reconnect.
Josh and I have done a couple of amazing projects together, including a beautiful Mitsuro and black diamond ring for his lovely wife Celina.
Celina reminded me that I never got a chance to photograph the custom piercing plugs she had me make for Josh, and he was kind enough to pose for a couple of quick pictures:
If you happen to be in the Denton area, be sure to check out Josh's band Lavish.
03 / 10 / 2010
post fort worth post
And now, a few completely out-of-context words to the wonderful folks in Fort Worth:
"I have now had three meals with your wife in the last decade."
"I formally apologize for accusing you of lying. She is not in fact inflatable."
"Smashy made my tummy hurt, then left me with pimps, ho's and Matt."
"Keep an eye on your mailbox."
"'La pistola in la boca,' does not mean what you think it means."
"Next time bring ninjas. Lots and lots of ninjas."
"Don't despair, Rufio Q is almost as cool a name as Jack Nine."
"It's official. Purple sticky rice is om-frickin'-nomular."
"Swapping metalsmithing tips was slightly more fun than watching you dance."
"It turns out 'easy listening music' is neither."
"A cracker is never a suitable substitute for a lasagna."
03 / 25 / 2009
out pro-ing the pros
A while back, I used a little non-fictional science to help create something out of science fiction for a client.
Kevin, aka "the patron of many disguises", sent an email my way which confirmed my suspicions that the work we did together was, in fact, bad-ass.
I happened to go to a small con earlier this month as my Minbari Ranger. I received quite a number of compliments on the outfit. The best thing was, I had this one guy that kept staring at me from across the room. He finally came over and said, "I can't believe how f***ing incredible the badge and the belt look. That is what they should have been if we had had a bigger budget."
It was Dark Hoffman - one of the property masters who actually worked on the Babylon 5 series!!!
10 / 24 / 2008
shockingly good customer service
A couple of weeks back, I had a rather electrifying experience. While setting up my booth at an event site, the lighting system I employ to make fine jewelry sparkle catastrophically kicked the bucket.
The spiteful beast also attempted to take me with it.
The short version of the story is that my hand was on one of the tracks at the same moment the lights in question checked their busy schedules and realized that it was high time that they pack up and shuffle off to the electrician's graveyard.
Their attempt to commit a simultaneous act of electrocutive seppuku and homicide was soundtracked by my echoing screams. While I easily filled a 10,000 square foot room with dulcet tones of my discomfort, I managed to neither swear nor sound completely like a little girl.
Considering that the hosting venue was a religious organization dedicated to the education of young men, both facts are worthy of mention.
Thanks to the fast thinking and faster actions of those less extra-crispy at the time, we managed to hack together something that allowed us to limp through the remainder of the show.
The following Monday, after I stopped smelling of ozone, I gave my lighting supplier a call. I explained that we had only employed the bi-polar lights in question four times, and that everything had been properly shielded and grounded...outside of myself.
Upon hearing my tale of woe and wattage, it was Edward (henceforth Edward the Lightbringer)'s professional opinion that the lights were in fact dangerously buggered up and in need of full replacement.
This was not at all surprising. I had come to a similar conclusion while writhing underneath them just a few days prior.
What left me floored, again, was the fact that he sent us a complete replacement on the house with his apologies for the inconvenience and near death experience. Edward the Lightbringer even insisted that I keep the non-smouldering bits of our original gear long enough to ensure we had spares for our next event.
After our less-morbid replacement lights carried us safely through the last show of the season, I took a moment to pull out a dictionary. Apparently, Edward the Lightbringer's strange behavior is known as "fantastic customer service".
It's not something you come across often, doubly so in an internet-based business catering to other businesses. For that reason, I've got to give them two thumbs up and recommend Direct Lighting to anyone looking for a reliable, and ultimately non-life threatening, solution for trade show illumination.
3625 E. Philadelphia Street
Ontario, CA 91761
Ask to speak to Edward the Lightbringer, and tell him who sent you.
12 / 12 / 2007
Like many people, I too am somewhat curious about the final adventures of a certain angst-ridden, spectacled and scarred teen of potent thaumaturgical ability. In my case, however, his fate will remain somewhat delayed on account of a package that recently turned up in my non-electronic mail.
Much to my delight, I've received a small crate which contains an unpublished manuscript of a new novel written by one of my clients. Heather Lore, whom I've created some wonderful pieces for in the past, has gifted me a copy of her latest effort, "The Water-Snake Road."
While I'm not completely sure of the when the final draft will be released, I am fairly certain that the published edition will not include a hand-illuminated note inside the back cover:
You can find out more about Heather Lore on her website, www.skyegg.com
07 / 31 / 2007
all we do we do 4 foo
Thanks to the efforts of Broadway Bistro and the Insert Art Here team, we managed to rouse a small but very interested attendance, raise a bit of money for a charity in need and replace a fair amount of our bodily fluids with fine wines.
Tom Pierson, one of the co-owners of the bistro, popped by my booth with this suggestion for alternative signage for next year's event:
image copyright: Austin Marshall, 2007.
I'm still wondering whether or not he intended for that sign to read "Will Work 4 Foo"
I am not one to revise history, so allow me to clarify it.
It has come to my attention that a couple of the artists involved in this event assumed the comments above in some way imply that they were drinking at a charity event hosted by a wine bar.
For the record, I was definitely drinking. Proudly so, in point of fact.
You see, the reason I personally racked up a three digit bar tab over the 10 hours of the event was that I knew that a percentage of every drop I purchased for myself, my friends and my clients was going to be donated to charity.
It was, after all, the point of the event.
So yes, I'm a lush. And no, I don't feel or imply that anyone else is. And this lush is as pleased as punch (or wine, as the case seems to be) that his not being a teetotaler bought a pile school supplies for children in need.
06 / 08 / 2007